Memoir Monday: Pain, Laziness, Idiocy.

Memoir Monday

I'm an idiot. I should have bought my gloves, but they were upstairs so I just headed straight out. I guess that makes me a lazy idiot. Gloves, gloves, gloves, why didn't I bring them? I don't know, but I guess it's too late to worry about that. I'm going way too fast and to make it worse... I was in crocs. I should have bought my shoes, but they were upstairs and they seemed just out of reach. I'm already regretting my decision. I swerve right, hoping to hit the curb and land on the grass, but then
I swerve back again when I see the dog excrement. Lazy idiots didn't pick it up; so now it coats the grass like some kind of screwed up snow. The hill that I am speeding down is growing ever more menacing and I am picking up speed, yet I am not ready to fling myself at “processed” dog food.. I'm in deep shit already, no need to make it literal.

Ugh, only one way to handle it now, I'm going to have to try running it. I know it won't work, but if I can make it to maybe the 3rd step my fall won't be that bad. I crouch down and brace myself, this is going to hurt. I jump off at full speed, and place my foot down, there is a ripping sound as my toes rip through the low quality croc, my feet slice across the sharp pebbles which coat the ground. I am bleeding already.

So, what does stupid Nick do? He lifts up his foot in pain, and he get impelled into a face first dive.
My hand cracks back as soon as I make a grab for the gravel; I half flip, half roll over as I hit the ground, feeling my skin get ripped off by the rock, I put my good foot down and manage to slide to a stop on my knee. I'm full of the usual small cuts you get from falling, put there is a large gash in my arm. Where the skin has peeled off. Worst part? It's right on the place where I took the full impact of a bike flip a few months back.. I curse and as usual, walk over to the curb so I can sit and feel sorry for myself. Yet no sympathy comes, only a hanging aura of disgust at my own idiocy.
Lazy,
Lazy,
Idiot.